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I'm an author spreading the words. Read about my books at www.SeleneCastrovilla.com







Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Monday, February 13, 2012

Method to my Madness Monday: Writing Through the Pain

           Several years ago, author Susan Taylor Brown gave me a magnet which said: “Write where it hurts. Find the courage to create.”

            I have it on my refrigerator. It did indeed help me find the strength to write “Saved by the Music” – largely autobiographical.

            In the wake of my aunt and my mom passing away, I am still writing where it hurts. But my question is: Where doesn’t it hurt?

            Grief is like an ocean with no land in sight.

            Writing isn’t hard now.

            But writing cohesively is.

            I sat yesterday writing notes about the rest of my latest novel. Scribbles are my version of an outline. (If I were in school I would get a failing outline grade. Also a failing penmanship grade – sigh.)

            These are only tentative plans, and yet I couldn’t get a grip on them. The littlest plot choices had me stumped. Then I got mad at myself for my hesitance¸ and poof! I got on board the “I suck” express train. Last stop: Despair.

            Then I did something different. Instead of wallowing, I went to the gym. Thank goodness for my son, who goes religiously. He makes me want to go, too.

            On that bouncing elliptical I was able to make some plot decisions. They might change – and probably will – but I couldn’t move forward without them. I need order in my writing life, all the more now because I don’t have much in my day to day life.

            So that’s me, writing through the pain.

            The secret to writing is that there is no secret. No formula.

            Ultimately, however you get something to the page is the right path.

            The tricky part is that paths change. Sometimes there’s a downed tree in the way, or maybe even an avalanche occurred. We writers have to be ready to find an alternate route – and we have to make sure we don’t get hit or buried.

            Like Winston Churchill advised, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Hokey Pokey Wednesday: Gratitude in a Different Light

Gratitude is a funny thing. It kind of slips up on you.

I used to hold so many grudges against the people who hurt me. I knew they weren’t going to apologize, but I was stuck in the heated mire of my rage.

It was my chiropractor who came up with the solution. (Dr. Daniel Silver in Rockville Centre, NY, if you happen to be in the area.)



“When people hurt you, thank them.”

“THANK THEM???”

“They’ve given you a life experience that will help you grow. Thank them, and move on.”

He is quite the guru.



Now I had the answer, but implementing it took time, and guts. I tried meditating, but wound up sending silent curses to those who had wounded me.

Then one day I woke up and said, “Thank you.”

I really felt grateful. I don’t even know why. Maybe I was just fed up with sitting in my angry chair. Someone on Facebook wrote the other day, “Build a bridge and get over it.” Yeah. It was like I’d constructed my own route across the pain.

If I knew the exact formula I could write a self-help book and made a fortune. But I’ll have to settle for a free self-help blog.

All I can say it that when I said “thank you” and meant it, the heavens opened and smiled on me. I felt a load being lifted from my chest. I swear, I heard music like in the movies.



At the risk of sounding like a religious zealot, I know God (or whatever you want to call the universal force) led me to this moment of liberation. In fact, like Dorothy, I had the power all along. I just had be brave enough to use it. Because gratitude is a leap of faith.