Hokey Pokey Wednesday: On Heading Down the Aisle

In a stunning reversal of opinion, I’m now in favor of marriage.

In the past, the thing that most upset me about marriage was the coldness of the institution – the contractualness of it. I was all about “love.” How dare a contract be involved!

Now, I’m all about marriage because it’s a business agreement. Why shouldn’t there be a contract? It doesn’t mean love isn’t involved. It just means that both people are investing into something. There are obligations – and consequences if the contract is broken. As well there should be!

So many people are living together now. Remember the expression, “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” I’m going to straight out say that this hurts women more than men. They are the ones giving more away; they are the ones generally more hurt financially and emotionally than men if the relationship breaks up (I know there are exceptions, but let’s face it, the world is what it is.)

It’s only getting worse, with girls younger and younger throwing themselves on guys and asking for nothing in exchange. Perhaps living together will be passé one day.

It comes down to self-worth. Women need to value themselves more – and I include myself in this statement. We deserve the protection and validation of marriage. Yes, I dare say “validation,” because it’s an acknowledgement of our importance and a genuine commitment.

There is of course a place for love in marriage. But the more important part of marriage is the guarantee of the contract. Many people think nothing of breaking their marriage vows, which is all the more reason for a contract – and a pre-nup!

Yes, everyone should have a pre-nup! Why not? It’s absolutely rational, and necessary.

I thought I was against marriage, but I was really against the misuse of marriage. I’ve come to realize that marriage isn’t the problem: it’s the people who rush into marriage and then think nothing of cheating, or dumping their partner. But there are good marriages – they just don’t get attention because America thrives on gossip. A solid marriage does not make for titillating gossip. How dull.

I do still maintain that it's too easy to get married. You should have to do as much paperwork to get married as you do to get divorced. No one would jump into a frivolous marriage if that were the case!

So, to recap, I now declare that marriage is a good thing. As is the protection that a marriage contract provides.

What can I say? It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.