Tightrope Tuesday: Brimming with Words and Trying to Relate

The college applications are in (except for CUNY schools, due 2/1) and we’ve moved onto the financial aid stage. I’ve filled out the federal form, but I’m confused about the CSS profile from the College Board (AKA: Highway Robbers.) Is it necessary, and why? It is expensive, or course – because it they could, the College Board would charge you for the air you breathe while taking the SATs.

I’m also moving towards the end of my latest novel. An exciting time, but also hard because when I’m in that zone, it’s hard to think about anything else. Imagine trying to live in two worlds at once. Something’s going to suffer.

Then there’s my younger son, Casey. I feel like I should be giving him more attention.

I took the kids to see RENT recently, and Casey loved it (yea!) This, after he practically had to be shanghaied to go. We’re going to watch the movie this weekend.

And I took him shoe shopping.

Other than that, Casey prefers to be with his friends – either on-line or in person. I guess this is normal, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m doing something wrong.

With Michael, it’s so easy. We can laugh at anything together. We both love Hard Core Pawn, and have a plan to journey to Detroit (the heart of Detroit’s 8 Mile, to be exact) to see American Jewelry and Loan in person. I want to meet Les Gold, the owner. I don’t even know why, but I do. I just love that show. And the great thing is, Michael’s down for it, too. We want to bring things to sell, and we’ve got a plan. We have to bring them all in separately, because if you bring it all together you get an offer for the lot, which is never enough.

These are the things we talk about. What do you talk about with your kids?

Casey, on the other hand, would never be up for a road trip to Detroit. He wouldn’t even entertain such a discussion.

My kids are so different.

It’s not that I don’t relate with Casey, but the relating seems to come in dribs and drabs, while it’s always there with Michael. But I do have a rapport with Casey – and he knows he can always talk to me, no judgments.

What can I do but take it day by day? I’m not complaining – I’m just unloading my brain, and possibly not very coherently, I’m afraid.

It’s hard to walk this tightrope of parenthood – and even harder with all these novel thoughts brimming from my soul.

But I’m grateful for everything.

Method to my Madness Monday: Basking in Your Glory

Here's a quick tip to jump start your writing when you just don't feel like it: Read over something great  you've written. A morsel you're soooo proud of. Even if it's a sentence. Anything that makes your chest puff up a bit as you say to yourself, "Hey, this is good stuff!"

If you've got a work in progress, find a line or two in that. If you hate everything you've produced of late, dig deeper. If need be, find a school newspaper article you penned in the eighth grade. Or a term paper. Anything.

A funny thing will happen when you read your polished work. You'll want to get moving on something else. Those juices will get flowing. You'll crave setting out once again on the path that ends with a sentence, paragraph, page or chapter you want to share with the world.

Maybe it's the law of attraction, maybe it's the law of prosperity (Is there a law of prosperity? It sounds good!), maybe it's the power of a good mood - or maybe all of these are the same thing. Who cares what label you throw on it? You're writing, and that's what counts.

Basking in your glory begets more glory to bask in. At least, it works for me.

And that's my last "method to my madness" tip for 2011. Hope you've enjoyed them, and used them.

Go forth and write - make this last week of the year count!

"What would I do if I had only six months left to live? I'd type faster. "
-Issac Asimov

Write like you're dying.

Cheers!

Close To You: For a Great Story, Get In The Groove With Your Characters

      Some time back, I had the opportunity to hear YA author Han Nolan speak at a conference. One thing she touched on struck me deep: Her personal relationships with her characters.

              Han said she was out shopping once, and she spotted a butterfly trinket. My friend would like that, she thought. Then she remembered: Her friend wasn’t real. She was a character in one of Han’s novels.

            This is how close we should be to our characters. We should think of what gifts they would like. What clothes they wear. Whether they prefer Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts – or, heaven forbid, we must consider that they may not consume caffeine at all.

            Think of it as living in an alternate universe. Because you are. You have created it, so only you can flesh it out fully. You must give your characters the attention they need so they can reciprocate, giving you the story you desire.

            It’s like gardening, but it’s better. Because you don’t really have to dig through dirt.

            The dirt's in your mind. (The only dirt I like is the metaphorical kind.)

            Another sign that you’re “in the groove” (as my Aunt Olga said) is when your character speaks to you. “My name is Darwin,” a voice said out of the blue in my head one day, as I turned a corner not far from my house (there’s a certain spot where I connect with my peeps.)

            I wasn’t perturbed. I guess a part of me had been expecting him.

            “Well,” I said. “Then I guess the name of the book is Evolution.”

            I told Darwin’s painful story¸ and I did it fast. It was like I was taking dictation from him.

            Evolution is the truest story I’ve written, even though it’s fiction. It’s so real and disturbing that some people can’t handle it. The point is: It all sprung from a close relationship with the character.

                        You are not your characters, and they are not you. You won't agree with all of their decisions and actions – but you must follow them along and document them anyway. Like the people who film animals in the wild. Watching those clips, I always think, Why won’t the guy filming help the antelope being stalked by lions? 

                         The guy isn’t there to fight nature.

                          And, in fact, you can't.

                          Even (and especially) in fiction, we are documenting the human condition. That is why the reader cares. We can and must have empathy for our characters, without playing God. The Girl Next Door was like that for me. How hard to watch a relationship playing out when one of the pair has cancer. Devastating.

            Dreaming your story is a good start. That’s what happened with The Girl Next Door.

I dreamed a little dream...

I had the whole thing in my head when I woke up one morning, even though I was struggling to write Saved by the Music.

Only when I let the characters take the lead could I write this story, and it was based on me!

            Your characters will have their way with you, whether you like it or not. Fighting them just makes it harder. They will get that message out. So shut up and listen.  

            Get in the groove with your characters and your story will soar. Every time.

Method to my Madness Monday: Hocus, Pocus, Where's Your Focus?

            What do I want to say about writing today?

            I think it’s the message I received in my Matchbox miracle: Focus.

            There’s so much going on in my life right now. As there is in yours. But we can’t wait for that “optimum” moment to write. It will never come!

            The best thing to do is to allow yourself five solid minutes. You’d be surprised what you can get done. Especially if you need to revise something. Carry a page of your manuscript in your pocket.

         If you’re standing on a line, if you’re waiting in a doctor’s office, if you’re sitting on a toilet...

pull out that paper and revise! Not only will you get something done – you’ll be proud & pumped up! And what does that lead to? More writing!!!

            I’ve done some powerful revisions waiting to order coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts.

 (I actually wrote much of my first two novels in Dunkin’ Donuts.)

            There are many opportunities to get some writing in during the day – if you allow for them. The thing you must do is focus on finding them. It’s like ideas. They’re everywhere. You just have to see them.

            Even if you have nothing to revise, just jot things down. A random sentence might lead to something. And if not – at least your brain is churning.

            You must keep those gears in motion, or they’ll get rusty.

            It’s not about the final product – it’s about state of mind, which ultimately leads to final product.

            And you’ll be in a good mood.

            That counts for a lot.

Method to my Madness Monday: Build Your Story/Build Your Barge

Building your story is like building a floating concert hall: neither one comes finished.

This is kind of what Aunt Olga's barge looked like when she bought it.

                This is the beginning of Saved by the Music, chapter two – when Willow (aka me) sees the interior of the barge her aunt wants to convert into a concert hall:

 

                Maybe the inside looked better.

                Aunt Agatha yanked open the thick metal door of the cabin.

                Any hopes I had were swept away in an explosion of dirt and dust. Particles went up my nose and down my throat, sending me into a coughing and sneezing fit.  “Sorry, Love. I’ll have to remember to clean up around this door,” Aunt Agatha said.

                Once the cloud and I cleared, I saw a cavern, big and dark and spooky. That’s all it was — one huge, bleak steel room, about the size of my school gym, with a regular sized door at either end, and gigantic sliding doors on each side. The walls, floor and ceiling were covered with grime. Piles of wood cluttered the room, plus other construction-type junk.

                “What do you think?” Aunt Agatha chirped, propping the door open with a crowbar. “Isn’t she a beaut?”

                I cleared my throat. “It’s not what I pictured.”

                She laughed. “What is?” She tweaked my nose. “You didn’t think the place came all finished, did you?”

            Your story doesn’t come all finished, either.

            Just as my aunt saw the potential in the dreary cavern, so must the writer see his completed work through the jumbled mess in his mind.

            Aunt Olga enjoyed restoring each piece of wood for the walls and the floor. She reveled in painting the roof. The whole project was a labor of love. And she was no spring chicken.

            So here’s a clue: If you don’t love the writing process – maybe you’re not a writer.

            Sure, there’s frustrating moments. Many.

            Soooooo many.

            “Oh my god,” you may scream, “I have to revise that #?!@!?# scene again?”

            But once you sit down and work on it, you’re happy. This is what you were meant to do! The fun is in the revision. In finding “le mot juste,” as Flaubert called it: The perfect word.

            If you don’t enjoy going over the same sentence seventeen times (bare minimum) to make sure it sings, you might want to reconsider your path.

            Go find something else that makes you heart sing – life is too short.

            But if you identify with these words, then go forth and write! Build your scenes, bird by bird (once again, I urge you to read Anne Lamott’s beautiful book.)

             You are the pig who built his house out of bricks, not straw or sticks.

You are taking the time to build the strongest story ever!!!

           

             Remember my aunt and her dark cavern.

            She believed she could build it into a concert hall.

             See the metaphor?

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”

-Henry Ford

If you'd like to read my novel Saved by the Music, here's the link for Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Saved-Music-Selene-Castrovilla/dp/1934813141/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322498010&sr=1-2

There's a lot going on in this cover, if you look closely. See the face, the music strings, the skyline, the water...and the barge?

Method to my Madness Monday: Get Thee to a Writing Group! Go!

Writing is like life. You need to be in isolation to sort things out, but your heart cries out for companionship.

This is why you must find a group.

Just as we search out friends with similar interests or, sometimes, troubles – so should we seek writing buddies. Like the swim pals we had as children, our writing buddies will have our backs – and whistle if we start to flounder.

Here are my top ten reasons for finding a writing group:

Reason one: You’re with like-minded people. There’s something to be said for a group mind-set – a common focus. In fact, there’s a lot to be said for that.

Reason two: You have a deadline. Let’s face the facts: the writing gets pushed aside more than you’re willing to admit, right?

But you have to submit to the group by Wednesday. People are waiting!!! So you skip that episode of reality trash you were going to veg out to, with your wine and/or ice cream (sound familiar?) Instead, you’re going to create something. Go, you!

Reason three: You have people who chant: Go, you! In a world of doubters & detractors­, this is essential.

Reason four: Your work will improve! Believe it or not, you’re not an impartial judge of your own writing. Go figure.

Reason five: With the group’s comments in your head, you’ll be able to self-edit somewhat better. Your work will improve even more!

Reason six: You have something to look forward to that’s just yours: not your mate’s, not your kids’, not your creditors’. And there’s no calories or indiscretions or felonies involved (as long as you don’t eat the Starbucks desserts, encounter a tall, dark stranger in the parking lot, or rob a gas station on your way home.)

Reason seven: Reading your buddies’ work will inspire you. It’s all part of that group mentality/energy thing.

Reason eight: You will lead a happier, productive life because you are doing the thing you were meant to do!

Reason nine: Your families will be happier because you are happier. You will inspire them to follow their dreams!

Reason ten: Your new positive life-force will ignite the universe. You will be the change you wish to see in the world.

Go confidently! Live the life you’ve imagined! And it all starts with a writing group!

Mine meets tonight ;)

Method to my Madness Monday: Grammar vs. Voice

Welcome to Method to My Madness Monday!

On Saturday I Facebooked a couple of comments my 92 year old aunt Olga Bloom made.

Bargemusic - my aunt's world-famous floating concert hall, which I helped build

This reminded of me of Aunt Olga’s reaction to the beginning of my novel, Saved by the Music – which is autobiographical, and also a tribute to her.

Aunt Olga in the early days of Bargemusic, with her dog, Lovely Bloom

Here’s the beginning of my novel:

The taxi’s spinning wheels spit pebbles and dirt as it left me behind at the marina’s gate. The dusty haze was a perfect fit for my state of mind.

I wobbled across the driveway and into the marina, trying to balance with my heavy suitcase. Sweat beaded under my bangs.

It was unbearably bright, like the sun was aiming right at me. But looking around, I decided that the marina needed all the brightening it could get. Damaged boats lined the gravel-filled boatyard, all of them in dry dock, up on stilts like big crutches—a nautical hospital. Their exposed insides were like my wrecked life. But at least someone cared enough to fix them.

The sounds of saws, drills, and hammers punctured the air as I passed the workers using them. I tried tuning out the men’s jeering whistles.

One yelled out, “Nice ass.”

Another called, “Hey, Slim.”

Some people really got off on taunting strangers.

I crunched though the gravel, kicking up pieces as I moved toward the water. Sailboats, cruisers, and yachts were all tied with rope to the docks.
So where was my Aunt Agatha’s barge? What did a barge even look like?

Aunt Agatha had told me about the barges that kings rode on centuries before, but she’d never actually described their appearance. There didn’t seem to be anything worthy of royalty bobbing about in this marina, at least not anything I saw.

“Over here, Willow!” a scratchy voice called out.

There was Aunt Agatha, waving from the deck of a huge and hideous metal monstrosity. This blows, I thought, doubting there’d be any cable TV on this scow.

My aunt hurried off the vile green vessel, prancing along a wooden plank across the water to reach me.

“What is that ugly thing?” I asked.

“That barge is our future concert hall!”
She couldn’t be serious.


You would think Aunt Olga would react in some personal way when she read this intimate story – which she was a part of!

But the first thing she did when she finished reading this opening was to look at me intently and ask, “Do you know the proper use of a modifier?”

This may sound harsh, but it was done with love. My aunt is old-school about grammar.

I said, “Not really.” I didn't even know what a modifier was, let alone the proper use of one. “But this is in the first-person voice of a fifteen year old, and they don’t tend to use modifiers correctly¸ either.” At least, this fifteen year old didn't - as she was based on the teenaged me.

She considered this for a long moment. Then she said, “Oh! I get it.”

This exchange illustrates today’s focus:

Sometimes, voice and grammar are at odds.

Sometimes, proper grammar kills.

I just ran my opening through an on-line grammar check service. It called my writing “adequate,” saying it could benefit from a revision.

It didn't like my modifier choices, either.

Furthermore, it recommended that I avoid contractions because they make my writing “too informal.” As a matter of fact, it called by use of contractions “a critical issue.” They were the largest reason why a revision would prove beneficial.

Guess what? A teenager’s voice IS informal.

To me, first person is like a running dialogue with the reader. However the person speaks, that’s how the writing should be. Once again I’ll use my favorite book The Catcher in the Rye as an example:

“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”

First page of Catcher - the underlining was done by someone else.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say this writing is less than adequate, according to the grammar checker. But as an opening, you can’t get more perfect than this. We know this kid – just from these few sentences.

This is what my oldest worn-out copy of The Catcher in the Rye looks like

Here’s another passage:

“Old Selma Thurmer - she was the headmaster's daughter - showed up at the games quite often, but she wasn't exactly the type that drove you mad with desire. She was a pretty nice girl, though. I sat next to her once in the bus from Agerstown and we sort of struck up a conversation. I liked her. She had a big nose and her nails were all bitten down and bleedy-looking and she had on those damn falsies that point all over the place, but you felt sort of sorry for her. What I liked about her, she didn't give you a lot of horse manure about what a great guy her father was. She probably knew what a phony slob he was.”

Ouch! The on-line grammar corrector would probably malfunction from overload here. But man, this is good stuff!

Everyone loves Catcher - even Chuck Schulz!

It would be fun to paste famous openings in the grammar checker and see what their “faults” are. If I had time, that is. (If you try any, let me know what happens!)

Bottom line: Be real. Unless your character is a grammar stickler like my aunt, don’t worry about modifiers – whatever they are. And embrace contractions. They are your friends.

Readers embrace authenticity.

That’s all I have to say about that.

J.D. Salinger's letter rejecting a film offer, which has nothing to do with this topic, but I found it on Google Images and I love it!

Guest Blog Friday with Author Susan Taylor Brown!!!

Welcome to Guest Blog Friday!!!

Today we have the lovely Susan Taylor Brown, who I met early in my career (not that it's so late now, lol - but I was pre-published then.) Susan was so giving and gave me great writing advice. It's my pleasure to host her now, and pass her words to you.

Susan Taylor Brown is the author of the award-winning middle grade verse novel Hugging the Rock, the picture books Oliver’s Must-Do List and Can I Pray With My Eyes Open?, and the non-fiction books Robert Smalls Sails to Freedom and Enrique Esparza and the Battle of the Alamo. In addition, Susan has published 44 books for the educational market, including 39 ESL books for the International market. More than 200 of Susan’s articles and stories have appeared in magazines for children and adults. She has served on the faculty for the Highlights Foundation Chautauqua Conference, is a former newspaper columnist for the New Orleans Times Picayune and past instructor for the Institute of Children’s Literature. Susan has been the recipient of several grants from the Arts Council Silicon Valley, which allowed her to be Writer-in-Residence for the San Jose Alternative Schools At-Risk program and to teach poetry to incarcerated teens.

She lives in San Jose, California, with her husband Erik, her German Shepherd Cassie, and more than 8,000 books. When she's not writing or reading, she's probably working in her art journal or puttering in her native plant garden.


Did you always feel a passion for writing? What did you do to nurture your talents?

Many years I was told that I could probably have a good career in writing, under one condition. I had to get out of my own way. 25 some odd years later I'm still trying to figure out how to do that.

I've always sort of envied those writers who say they knew they wanted to be a writer from the time they learned to write their name on wide ruled paper in school. I thought I couldn't  be a "real writer" because I couldn't pinpoint a time in my  childhood that I knew had influenced my path to writing. The thing is, I wrote poetry for fun. English was easy for me because I loved to read and I loved to write. Because I was good at it, I got good attention. Which of course encouraged me to keep on writing.  All through junior high and high school I wrote in spiral notebooks. Love poems to boys I liked. Hate poems to people that made me mad. But it was just something I did. I never thought I could actually make money at it or look at it as a career option until my first child was born. I had tried all sorts of home businesses with zero success. One day I was walking around the block with a friend, both of us pushing babies in strollers, and my friend asked me what I would do if I didn't have to worry about making any money at it and I didn't hesitate for a moment before I said I would write. She pointed out that I might as well be doing what I wanted since it was obvious all the other things I was trying weren't making any money either. After we had a good laugh I realized she was right and I enrolled in a writing class the next week.

But long before that first class I was always scribbling down poems so I like to think all my writing has sprung from my poet's heart.


What was your first published book? How did that come about, and how long did it take to get published?

I took a twisty road to getting books published, selling some that never ended up in print, selling to foreign publishers which meant I couldn't even read my own book once it was published, and selling to a couple of books to a not-that-great small press that quickly went out of business. So I like to think of CAN I PRAY WITH MY EYES OPEN? as my first published book because it met the all important criteria that I had come up with - it was in English by a respected publisher (Hyperion) , you could get it in a bookstore, and you could find it in a library.

Some stories take longer to write than others. CAN I PRAY WITH MY EYES OPEN? took over 25 years. The idea for the story came from a frustrating conversation I had with a minister when I was about ten-years-old. We had differing views on prayer, including whether or not it was okay to pray with your eyes open. That phrase, that future title, stuck in the back of my mind for over 25 years. I can't say what it was that pulled it back to the front of my mind again, but when I sat down to write it, it came out nearly complete in a few hours. That's not because I'm such a terrific writer, but because my subconscious had been working on it for me for so many years. This book was a true gift.

It was actually one of the quickest book sales I've had. Once it got to my agent it sold in a couple of months and stayed in print for ten years.



What comes first in a book for you? Do you feel a voice wanting to tell you a story, or a plot formulating...or something else?

I am a character driven writer and plot scares the heck out of me. Truly. There might be a subject that interests me and I'll start researching it to learn more but I'm not thinking it's a book yet. It's just an exploratory adventure. I kick around in the research and you know how it goes, once you buy a blue Honda, everywhere you go you see a blue Honda. Well the research does that for me. Eventually I'll start to hear a voice in my head. (Some writers see pictures, I hear voices.) Some characters just pop in and out and don't stay around very long at first. I jot down what they want me to know and then move on. Some characters practically haunt me, to the point that I have missed my exit on the freeway more than once.

But hearing the character's voice in my head isn't the same as getting the voice on the page and that's what it takes for me to really feel like a book is coming to life. I have to write a lot of pages that I know will be tossed just to try and find that voices. Lately I've been playing with writing letters to my characters and having them answer me. It helps me find their voice. You can read some of the examples here:
http://susanwrites.livejournal.com/tag/character%20letters


What is your work ethic? Do you write every day? Do you write more once you get immersed in a story?

I work at some kind of writing every day. Except when I don't.

Because I always have several projects going at once it is easier to project hop when I am struggled but I'll be honest and say that I have had some long dry spells where I couldn't write at all. And nothing is more miserable than being a writer who isn't writing unless you're the poor soul who has to live with the writer who isn't writing. When I hit a patch like that this year I decided to try something different. Instead of beating myself up and calling myself names I decided to give myself a month off. As one friend pointed out to me, there was a huge difference between not working because I decided not to work or not working and kicking myself about it. So I took the month of March off. I told myself I couldn't write, even if I wanted to. And I dedicated myself to a month of play. I had been wanted to spend more time making art so that's what I did.

(You can read all about it in my poem-a-day project I did for National Poetry Month where I tried to distill that month of play into the lessons I had learned.
http://susanwrites.livejournal.com/tag/national%20poetry%20month%202011)

But yes, once I am immersed in the story it is easier for me to write more, lose all track of time, forget to eat. Except when I don't.

You gave me a magnet which says: “Write where it hurts. Find the courage to create.” What inspired you to help other writers with this message? (It certainly helped me.) What does “courage” in this context mean to you?

Until recently I have always written/created from a place of pain and used my writing to help me make sense out of my world. I don't think I'm alone with that thought. I know how very hard it is sometimes to sit down and write just a single sentence about an incident in your past that has caused you pain. Some of your best stories might be waiting for you there but you have to be brave enough to plunge yourself into the memory and draw out that pain and then smear it all over the page for the world to see. I want to help others find that courage to tell their stories because I believe that it is in the storytelling and in the artmaking that we find the healing that we need. Sometimes it is simply cathartic to revisit old wounds and exorcise them by telling the story with a different ending. Sometimes it gives you the opportunity to be heard when you weren't before. Sometimes it is just that the more you tell the story, the more it becomes about the story and less about you so the pain or the fear or whatever is that was holding you back seems to loosen and you are free.

All creating, writing or music or art, all creative work demands courage from the creator. In order to write believable stories we often have to be willing to bleed on paper. Go ahead and let yourself be scared. Let yourself feel every emotion - the pain, the anger, the longing, the laughter, the love. Let it bubble up until it boils over and then pour it into your writing. Rollo May, in his book Courage to Create, says, "If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself. Also, you will have betrayed your community in failing to make your contribution."

Because of who you are and what you have experience, there are stories only you can tell. Feel the fear, dig deep and start writing.

Does the process get any easier for you?

Ha! Don't I wish! Every book is different. Every poem is different. When an idea is new, I follow it everywhere. I read all I can about it. I am its best friend. But then along comes another idea and I am head-over-heels in love with it, obsessed with it, writing its name all over my current notebook. I am an idea jumper and whichever one is promising me a good time, that's where I go. Which means I have a whole lot of partially finished books and poems and essays. Over the years I have learned more about my particular process and that's that each project will unfold differently.

I used to beat myself up because I didn't work on my writing the same way other people did. I knew lots of people who picked a project, started it and then worked on it until it was done. I thought that was what I had to do in order to be a successful writer. Well I tried. I tried and tried and tried and I just couldn't do it. My brain didn't operate very well that way. I found that some days I was okay working on just one project and other days I got bored or stuck or just wasn't in the mood but when I switched to another project, it was full speed ahead. I have finally (mostly) accepted that this is my process.

Sometimes I have to make myself stay in the room with a particular project because I'm on deadline but sometimes I can follow the words wherever I want to, just because they make me feel good.

What has gotten easier is the confidence that once I have something down on the page, a crummy first draft, that I can fix it. I adore the revision process.


What are five words you would use to describe the writing process?

Joy. Pain. Needs more chocolate.